05-08-2004, 10:17 PM
i got this in a e-mail , got a few laughs outta it and thought i'de pass on the chukkels to everyone here .
Things I've learned from my children (Honest and No Kidding):
>
>1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq.foot house 4
>inches deep.
>
>2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
>blades, they can ignite.
>
>3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
>
>4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
>enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman
>cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a
>20X20 foot room.
>
>5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using
>the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before
>you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
>
>6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a
>ceiling fan.
>
>7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's already too
>late.
>
>8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
>
>9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
>36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass
>can start a fire even on an overcast day.
>
>10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
>
>11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
>
>12. Super glue is forever.
>
>13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
>walk on water.
>
>14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
>
>15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they
>do.
>
>16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
>
>17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
>
>18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
>
>19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like
>ovens.
>
>20. The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.
>
>21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
>It
>will however make cats dizzy and cats throw up twice their body weight when
>dizzy.
[signature]
Things I've learned from my children (Honest and No Kidding):
>
>1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq.foot house 4
>inches deep.
>
>2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
>blades, they can ignite.
>
>3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
>
>4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
>enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman
>cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a
>20X20 foot room.
>
>5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using
>the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before
>you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
>
>6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a
>ceiling fan.
>
>7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's already too
>late.
>
>8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
>
>9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
>36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass
>can start a fire even on an overcast day.
>
>10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
>
>11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
>
>12. Super glue is forever.
>
>13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
>walk on water.
>
>14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
>
>15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they
>do.
>
>16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
>
>17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
>
>18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
>
>19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like
>ovens.
>
>20. The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.
>
>21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
>It
>will however make cats dizzy and cats throw up twice their body weight when
>dizzy.
[signature]


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]haha you sure these werent you and yours?? haha well i got one fer ya, "watch what ya say round kids" haha gramma stated she didnt like the color of her new car" cliff went out and painted the bright yellow car green. ! ahha [